Are you there?

Yes, we are here.

Today, I would like to talk about loss.

Are you referring to someone or something specific or are you talking about loss in general?

One of my sisters passed away recently after a long bout with cancer and the after-effects of chemotherapy and radiation, and so I have been thinking a lot about her as I deal with my own grief over her loss.

Your sister was a wonderful, loving person who touched the lives of many people. She will be greatly missed.

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, she was a strong person, very kind, generous and funny, and greatly loved and admired by her immediate family, her friends and her co-workers. I will miss her very much. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to understand and process my feelings around her loss. Losing someone who is a part of your immediate family is certainly a very sad occasion, but I have found that losing a sibling, especially one who was still relatively young, is particularly difficult. Both myself and my family are heartbroken.

Indeed. Losing someone close to you leaves behind a feeling of deep emptiness, as if a part of you has suddenly gone missing. And so, you grieve, not only for what has changed, for what you feel has been lost, but also for what might have been, for the future experiences that you looked forward to with loving anticipation.

I will say that being near my family at a time like this has helped me a great deal with the grieving process. It has brought me a greater appreciation for the history that we all share as well as their continued presence in my life.

You and your family share a great deal, not just a physical history, but an emotional history as well, and it is never more apparent than in those moments when you experience loss.

That is true. One thing I have realized is that we probably don’t need to think about it all quite so much, about how we process our emotions around loss. The emotions are so intense, especially the feelings of sadness, that it’s almost as if thinking becomes secondary to the grieving process.

Intense emotional states, whatever the catalyst, will often shift and ground your awareness squarely in the present moment. It is quite a natural process. Yes, in the case of the loss of a loved one, there are a great many shared memories from the past that will rise up within you. But even these types of thoughts and memories have a tendency to take root in the present because they are so incredibly immediate.

I have found that as well. In fact, our responses in situations like this can be so immediate that we often find ourselves overwhelmed by emotion, and that can lead to feelings of self-consciousness and self-judgement. I experienced that a few times during the memorial services for my sister. I wondered how the expression of my own grief might be perceived by others. I realized, though, that when the emotion is genuine and comes from the heart, there is no need for judgement or shame. That our best course is always to release our judgements around what we’re supposed to feel and how others perceive the appropriateness of what we are feeling and just let it flow, let it happen naturally, if we can, and let others do the same.

Everyone deals with loss in their own way. That is part of the diversity of the physical plane. When seen from that perspective, there is no right or wrong. There is no best way or proper way or suitable way. There is only YOUR way. And that should be respected. That is all that your loved ones would expect. When you lose someone close to you, everyone who loved and cherished the one who has passed is in the same boat, so to speak. Everyone feels the loss, but in a way that is specific to each individual’s personality and their history with the person who has passed. Your best approach is to allow yourself the freedom to feel and express your emotions in a way that feels appropriate to you, regardless of what anyone else thinks. And there is one more thing you might consider.

What is that?

When we use the phrase “lose someone close to you,” we refer only to a physical loss. In truth, nothing is ever lost. NOTHING. Everything is composed of energy and energy is never lost. It is only transformed. In the case of your sister, she decided after a long and difficult bout with intense physical challenges that the time had come to refocus her energies back to Source. She made a choice, a decision. It may not have seemed that way to those who were close to her on the physical plane, but that is exactly what she did. She was done. She was finished. She had completed her journey in this particular lifetime and so she returned to Source, to her home, a journey everyone currently living on the physical plane will eventually make. Her energy still exists. It is not lost. It has only been transformed. And even though she no longer maintains a physical presence as your sister, her energy still exists on the physical plane as well, through the thoughts and feelings of those who were close to her. So, as you continue to process your own feelings of grief, remind yourself that there is no loss. There is only change. There is only transformation. And that, as always, should be embraced.

I appreciate your words. They have been very helpful. And comforting as well. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to write about this topic, that it might still be too fresh in my mind and in my heart, but now that we have talked, I’m glad we did. I think we still stop there for now.

Of course. Whatever you wish. Until next time then.

Thank you all. 

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