Are you there?

Yes, we are here.

Today, I want to talk about our tendency to criticize ourselves.

Yet another example of the forces of fear at work.

Why does everything always boil down to fear?

Because that is the way things have been set up. As we have said before, there are really only two emotional options available on the Earth plane – love and fear. Those are your choices.

I can see that. It just seems way more complicated when we’re trying to figure it all out.

Come now. It is not as complicated as all that, is it? Love is who you are and fear is who you are not. That is the main difference between the two. That and the fact that one feels good – love – while the other – fear – generally feels bad. Everything that you experience emotionally on the physical plane can be distilled down to these two basic emotions.

I guess I’ll only need to hear that about a thousand more times before it finally begins to sink in.

That is why we are here.

OK. So, how can we better understand our tendency to self-criticize?

By remembering that self-criticism, as we have just said, arises out of a state of fear. Take a moment and think about all of the times you have criticized yourself. “How could I be so stupid?” or “Who told me I had talent?” or “Why do I always screw things up?” There are hundreds if not thousands of examples to choose from.

That’s for sure. Depending on what we’re doing in any given moment, it’s very easy to become completely overwhelmed by our own critical thoughts.

So, slow down for a moment and try to feel your way to what is going on beneath your critical comments. If the roots of self-criticism are based in fear, ask yourself “What am I so afraid of?” Ponder that question and soon you will have an idea of where your self-criticism begins and how you enable it to continue.

Well, the first thing that occurs to me is that most self-critical comments stem from our own insecurities, from our lack of self-esteem, from the fact that we are often completely out of touch with our own personal power. We’re afraid that we’re no good, that we don’t measure up, that we’re failures. When we do speak to ourselves in a critical way, it almost seems as if we’re trying to punish ourselves for being so incompetent, and at the same time, in a weird way, we’re also trying to improve our performance by shaming ourselves into doing better. Punishment and shaming as a way of changing behavior. Not a very effective way to improve yourself, is it?

You think?

And yet we continue to do it. There is a saying, I think it comes from Einstein, about the definition of insanity. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” That’s paraphrasing, but I think that’s the gist of it. We’re all a little bit insane down here, aren’t we?

It is all a question of perspective, is it not? Perhaps it helps to be a little crazy to agree to come into a dimension that has a much higher density than the one you are used to; to agree to experience the phenomena of time and space, conditions that are completely foreign to you; to undergo a metaphysical form of amnesia that causes you to forget who you really are and why you have come; to focus your high-vibrational light body into a tightly-fitting physical form that requires constant maintenance; and then to create challenges for yourself, some of which are very difficult and at times, extremely frustrating, all with the intention of growing and expanding, not just yourself but the entire Universe, and all of this with only the likes of us and your own higher self to guide you. When looked at in this way, well then, perhaps you are all a bit insane.

I don’t suppose it’s possible that self-criticism is actually discipline in disguise, and that in the end, it’s a great way to improve ourselves.

Do we really have to answer that question for you? You know very well what discipline is. You are a very disciplined individual. But you are also aware that discipline, when used properly, is not about bullying or shaming yourself into modifying your behavior. It is clearly-intentioned mental and emotional effort designed to help you excel at an activity or experience that you truly love and enjoy. That is not to say that discipline cannot sometimes be misused and even become abusive. It often is. But that is not what we are talking about here. We are talking here about a tool based in love, not fear.

But how can I tell if my own use of discipline is becoming abusive?

By how you are feeling. If you use discipline to force yourself to do something that you really do not want to do, and you begin to suspect that you are using self-criticism to achieve your goal, then you will almost certainly begin to feel bad. That is when you must stop and re-evaluate your process. How you feel is always the clue as to whether you are aligned with who you really are. If you feel good, you are aligned. If not, you are not.

OK. So, what can we do steer clear of our impulse to self-criticize?

Rather than criticizing yourself in an effort to change or improve your behavior, start by holding a vision of what you want, of how you want to be, and then move slowly towards it. As you move forward, focus on what is already working rather than on what you see as “wrong.” Old habits die hard, as you humans like to say, so it may take some time and some “discipline” for you to release the need for self-criticism. But if you can maintain your focus on what you desire, and trust in the process of growth and expansion, and then look for things about yourself to appreciate, you will soon stop browbeating yourself and begin to allow yourself to blossom into the incredible creature you truly are.

I think we’ll stop there for today. I’d like to continue this discussion next time and focus on our tendency to criticize others.

That sounds like an excellent idea. Until next time then.

Thank you all.

NEW POSTS APPEAR REGULARLY MONDAYS & THURSDAYS

SHARE THIS POST: