Are you there?

Yes, we are here.

We spoke several months ago on the topic of frustration. At the time, my frustration centered around my inability to master the technical issues involved with setting up our website.

We recall that conversation. Is there something further on the topic of frustration that you would like to discuss?

Well, I’m going through another period of feeling frustrated, but this time, it does not seem to be connected to anything specific, so I’m not sure if the dynamic is the same or if there is something else going on.

Feelings of frustration generally arise for one of two reasons – either you are not getting what you want or you are getting what you do not want. Last time, your struggles with computer technology led to thoughts of inadequacy which in turn triggered feelings of frustration, all because things were not working the way you wanted them to.

What I don’t understand is that now, there does not seem to be a specific situation that is causing my frustration, but I can feel it all the same.

Tell us how you were feeling today, starting with the morning events.

Well, I usually exercise first thing in the morning, but today, I did not feel like finishing the entire workout. I felt out of sorts, tired, it was very humid and my heart was just not in it. Afterwards, as I walked to the grocery store, I kept finding myself behind slow walkers, or people with dogs, or parents with strollers taking up the whole sidewalk. When I got inside the store, more of the same – an old man blocking the aisle with his cart, someone taking forever in front of the cucumbers, no more of the cheese I like. Coming home, more and more things irritating me – the humidity, dogs barking at each other, cyclists almost running me down.

And while you were experiencing these feeling of frustration and irritation, did you do anything to address those feelings?

Frankly, no. I just kept hoping it would subside.

What happened once you arrived home?

I decided I wanted to work on our blog. I thought it might help, but I just wasn’t feeling it, didn’t feel connected to all of you, and so, after trying to write for a couple of hours…

A couple of frustrating hours…

Yes, yes, a couple of frustrating hours. After a couple of frustrating hours, I gave up.

And did you do anything at that point to address your frustration?

To be honest, no. Once again, I just kept waiting for it to subside.

So, you are experiencing frustration and irritation, but you are not really addressing it, just waiting for some outside force to remove it for you, and in the process, you are only getting more and more frustrated. What made you finally address your feelings of frustration?

My motion sensor trashcan began to malfunction, opening and closing on its own. I think they call it “ghosting.” It started shortly after I arrived home from the grocery store and would not stop. I was so irritated that I gave up trying to write and instead spent the next hour searching through countless websites and YouTube videos looking for ways to solve the ghosting problem. I even called the trashcan’s manufacturer, to no avail. Finally, it occurred to me that I could stop the ghosting by just removing the batteries, which I did. That’s when I realized how frustrated I had become.

Let us ask you one more thing. We know that you were choosing to stay away from news media sites for a while because the news, particularly the political news, was upsetting you. And we also know that at the beginning of this week, you went back to reading the political news. We are correct, are we not?

Yes, you are correct.

So now let us work our way through this series of events together, step by step, to see if we can arrive at a clearer vision of what has been happening. To start, you have been reading the political news all week, after promising yourself that you would focus your attention elsewhere, and the news, once again, frustrated you because the world does not seem to be going in the direction that you would like.

Yes, that is correct.

Then, after a week of reading political news that you know is an emotional trigger for you, you wake up this morning feeling frustrated and disconnected, your workout does not go well, you are irritated by people on the street and in the grocery store, you get home, you try to write but can’t, and then, you have a problem with your trashcan. Do you see the progression? The condition of the world frustrates you, but you’re not addressing those feelings, so eventually, your trashcan implodes, and that finally gets your attention. This is a very good example of how fear-based thoughts with similar frequencies bond together, build in momentum, and eventually create experience.

Yes, I can see that.

But unlike your experience with computer technology, where you were ready to bang your head against the wall, this time you allowed yourself to wake up to what was happening before it escalated and led you to create something far more challenging than a ghosting trashcan.

That’s progress, wouldn’t you say?

Indeed. You are far enough along now to recognize that when you are feeling less than good, it is up to you to take charge and make another choice. You need to take a breath and shift your attention to thoughts that make you feel good, or at least better.

It really is up to me, isn’t it?

Yes, it is really up to you. Who else? In the future, when you are feeling frustrated or irritated, stop yourself before your emotions have a chance to build. Step back, take a deep breath and acknowledge what you are feeling. Remind yourself that everything is OK and all right and that your top priority is to feel good. Affirm for yourself that there is nothing to get frustrated or irritated about. Or if there is, that you do not need to engage your feelings on that level. Keep things in perspective. Center yourself. Have a laugh, if you can. Then let it be and let it go.

That is all very good advice. I think we will stop there for today.

As always, it has been our pleasure. We look forward to our next conversation.

Thank you all.

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