WHERE WE TALK ABOUT ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR
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Yes, we are here.
Before we start, I would like to let our readers know that for the time being, we will be posting entries only once a week on Mondays. We should return to our twice-weekly postings sometime after the first of the year.
Very good. Now what would you like to talk about today?
Today, I would like to tackle the very broad topic of addictive behavior.
A subject that affects more or less every human person on the physical plane. Where would you like to begin our discussion?
First, I’d like to say that I’m not suggesting that we can solve all the issues behind what we refer to as addiction or addictive behavior, including serious and chronic addiction like substance abuse, in one posting. I’m not sure I’m qualified to begin that kind of conversation anyway. That said, I’d like to explore the everyday addictive behaviors that fill our lives – addiction to social media, to the internet, to food, to television viewing. What I think of as more benign addictions, ones that may permeate our lives, but which do not lead to any kind of debilitating condition.
We would be happy to discuss addictive behavior with you on any level that you choose, but surely you are aware that the relative seriousness of addictive behavior is really a question of degree, and that while you may not see addiction to social media as a life-threatening affliction or one that requires the assistance of a health care practitioner, the basic dynamic of all addictive behaviors is the same, in that they stem from the inclination on the part of humans to resist remembering who they really are. We would suggest then, that you do not allow a fear of your own inadequacy in discussing the more serious side of addictive behavior to keep you from exploring this topic in depth.
I understand, and will do my best to stay open to whatever you have to say.
Excellent. So, to reiterate our point about addictive behavior – all behavior of this kind stems from the fact that the overwhelming majority of human persons live in a state of what we have referred to as metaphysical amnesia, meaning that they have forgotten the truth about who they really are. Indeed, that is the source of much of what we might call dysfunctional human behavior. If all humans were in a position right now to fully remember who they really are – that they create their own lives, that they are safe and secure no matter what occurs, that no one can influence the choices they make unless that influence is allowed, that they have control over their lives, that they are deserving, that they are loved – little or none of what we are calling addictive behavior would exist.
I’m guessing that the ego plays a big part of why these kinds of behavior exist.
No guessing is necessary, for you are absolutely correct. Addictive behavior is, in many instances, an attempt on the part of humans to block out the mental chatter generated by the ego. For some, the ego’s mental chatter is so intense, so continuous, so unrelenting, that the behaviors adopted to drown out its sound can lead to physical, mental and emotional trauma. In cases such as this, we would always recommend seeking assistance from a health care professional. For most humans, however, the ego’s chatter is generally dealt with in less extreme, but equally unrelenting ways, usually by behaviors that seek to ease the discomfort and pain caused by the messages the ego is sending forth – judgements about weight, worries about money, anxiety over relationships, insecurities of all kinds. The list is endless. The addictive behaviors that result from this kind of ego assault can only be alleviated by first acknowledging that a problem exists, and then by exploring the issues, whatever they might be, that underlie and motivate the behavior.
I have found that with my own addictive behaviors – my former habit of cigarette smoking, my current habit of news site surfing – that I am often able to stop or at least limit those behaviors temporarily, but that they invariably reassert themselves over time. I finally stopped smoking about fifteen years ago, but it took the onset of a serious health issue to finally convince me how harmful the habit of smoking is. With my web surfing, I have had to make a concerted effort to monitor how I feel during and after a compulsive viewing session. Even though I often feel bad, even physically bad, after spending time going from one site to another, reading one depressing news story after another, I still find myself the next day returning to those sites. For me, it is committing to the withdrawal that I find the most challenging.
That is where the ego exerts the most pressure – when you try to re-assert your own power and take back control. The ego does not want to relinquish its authority over you and will do everything it can to maintain it. This dynamic is particularly difficult to change when you identify yourself with the ego. You make a change, you commit to another choice, you even start to feel better as a result. Then before long, the ego’s voice rises up. “There’s no problem with your, with our, obsessive compulsive behavior. It’s perfectly fine to indulge. Just one more time. Life is so hard, you, we, deserve to have a little fun. And don’t worry. This time you, we, will keep everything under control.” It is upon the foundation of this kind of dysfunctional relationship that your addictive behavior rests. That is why it is so important for you to not only address the issues that may lie at the heart of your behavior, but to also take the time to reinforce the truth about who you really are, whether through meditation or by using affirmations or by reaching out to share your experiences with others.
I feel as if we have barely scratched the surface of what causes addictive behaviors, but I’m hoping that our readers are able to gain some benefit from what we have said today. Is there anything else you would like to add?
While we may not have broken significant new ground in our discussion of the causes of addictive behavior, we have reinforced some very useful ideas, the most important being that no matter what issue you are grappling with, when it comes to recovery, the journey begins within. Love yourself, nurture yourself, and allow yourself time to heal. That is the place to start.
I think we will stop there for today.
Of course. We look forward to our next conversation.
Thank you all.
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