Are you there?

Yes, we are here.

I think today’s conversation will be a little different from the type of thing we usually post.

In what regard?

Well, I’d like to describe for our readers a conversation that I had recently with a close friend during which I tried to offer her comfort for something that was troubling her and instead found myself quickly falling down a rabbit hole.

We are familiar with this conversation to which you refer, and if you can manage to relay it to our readers in anything approaching a coherent fashion, we would be amazed and very, very impressed. But do not let us stop you. It will certainly be fun to listen to you try.

Thank you so much for your encouragement. OK. So, as you know, I was recently out for lunch with a friend whose mother passed away a few years ago and during this conversation, my friend asked me if I thought it was possible, now that her mother was no longer alive, that her mother knew everything about her, including all of the bad things (her words) that she had done over the course of her life, her innermost secrets, especially those things that she was particularly ashamed of.

And how did you respond to her question?

Well, I was a little surprised by her question, but I certainly didn’t think there was any reason for my friend to be anxious about this situation, so I tried to lighten things up by telling her that it was no big deal if her mother had access to all of those things that my friend had hoped to keep to herself because I was sure her mom didn’t care about any of that stuff now that she was dead.

And how did that make your friend feel?

Well, that only seemed to make her more anxious. “So, you really think she knows everything now!?!” I thought perhaps I was just not being clear enough, so I tried to calm her down by explaining that even though I believed this to be true – that her mother, indeed all of her dead relatives, now had access to all of her personal information – that her mom would certainly not judge her in the same way that her friends might if they had access to her complete life story and knew every little secret thing about her, because once we leave our human forms, we leave the ego behind, the ego being the source of all of that judgement, and that what my friend thought of as shameful or sinful would not be seen that way by her mom from the perspective of her mom’s non-physical, high-vibrational state.

And how did your friend respond to all of this information?

She was pretty much confused by everything I said. Part of the problem was that my friend does not view the afterlife in the same way that I do, and instead believes that her mom is more than likely sitting up in heaven shocked and appalled at all of the horrible things that my friend had kept from her while she was growing up, things that she is still ashamed of. So, I thought that if I could give her another way of looking at the situation, like “she’s passed on and doesn’t really care about all of that now,” that it would bring her some comfort. I stressed the fact that even if her mom knew everything, she would certainly forgive her for all of it. I may even have jokingly said, “I can tell you one thing, she’s not sitting up on some cloud wringing her hands over what a terrible daughter you were, because that’s not really how it works.” I thought that might get a laugh out of her, but instead, she just made a face and grunted something unintelligible.

And then what happened?

Well, you know what happened because you were there, listening and trying to guide me by telling me to focus my words on the idea of forgiveness, which was what my friend really needed most to hear, but instead, I let my own anxiety get the better of me and fell further down the rabbit hole by launching into a long, convoluted explanation about the nature of collective consciousness, something my friend had never heard of, and of course, that only made things worse, especially when I told her that the idea of collective consciousness means that we ALL have access to ALL of the information in the Universe and that on some level, not consciously, of course, but on a higher level, I also knew all about her entire history and all of those things that she was ashamed of and that the waiter knew and the cook and the people sitting next to us and pretty much everyone on the entire planet. “We all know everything about everybody, so it doesn’t really matter!” I honestly thought at the time that she would laugh and find it all amusing, but she only became more anxious and confused, probably regretting that she had ever asked for my advice.

We wonder why. And then what happened? For the benefit of our readers, please.

You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? My description of this lunch gone haywire.

It was your idea to tell this story. We are only here to listen.

Yes, of course. So, I decided to try a completely different approach and brought up the idea of reincarnation, telling my friend that there really was nothing to worry about because chances were her mother was already reincarnated in another body in another completely different country, “she’s probably a little baby boy living in China at this point,” in which case her primary focus would not be on my friend and her “bad behavior,” but on her own life as a little Chinese baby and that my friend should just stop worrying and relax.

And how did that go over with your friend? Again, for the benefit of our readers, please.

I could see her eyes starting to glaze over. All she could say was, “Oh, well, I don’t really believe in reincarnation.”

And did you accept this statement from you friend and redirect the conversation back to the notion of her mother’s forgiveness, which is what we were advising you to do, or did you make another choice?

You know darn well that I made another choice. Instead of taking your advice, I doubled-down and started talking about “star groups,” if you can believe it, a concept I had not thought about in years, but it popped into my head at that moment and I guess I thought that was a good sign, so I began to explain how certain groups of incarnated beings, “star groups,” spend many, many lifetimes in intimate relationships with each other, alternating the nature of their relationships over the course of their lifetimes. So that even though she was her mother’s daughter in this lifetime, it was quite possible that she was her mother’s mother in a previous lifetime, or her mother’s husband, or her sister, or her brother, or just her friend, or any number of things. That there were countless variations on these reincarnated relationship dynamics, all designed to work through issues as a group over the course of many lifetimes in an effort to come to a place of remembrance. I went on to say that she and I were probably also part of a star group and that we probably had a similar type of dynamic over the course of our many, many reincarnated lifetimes and that at some point I myself could very well have been her mother.

And tell us how your friend responded, especially to that last piece of information.

Again, you were there, so know that by this point, she was practically glassy-eyed, picking absent-mindedly at her food, checking her phone for messages and mumbling quietly to herself. She was not really listening to a word I was saying, as if I was trying to explain quantum theory to her when all she really wanted to hear was that her mother understood and forgave her for whatever she was feeling guilty about. Fortunately, I realized, finally, just how far I had fallen down the rabbit hole, so I stopped and changed the subject. Clearly, if I had stayed more centered and grounded and open to what you were telling me, I would have made different choices. But there are lessons in every situation, and in this case, I realized the importance of staying attuned to what the other person really needs to hear rather than what I think the other person needs to hear. And also, listening to all of you in situations where I’m not sure of what to say because I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.

We are not here to say “we told you so.” That is not our job. Our job is simply to be there for you when you need us. That does not mean that you will always take advantage of our advice, but that is all a part of our relationship with you and we understand that. And on the level of your true self, you understand that too. As does your friend. As you tried to explain to her, perhaps not as eloquently as you would have liked, there is only one mind, one “collective consciousness,” because everyone is connected to everyone else. That all voices, all energies within the Universe, stream forth from the same place, the same Source. And that’s a good thing. It is the way things are and always have been. And in that idea, there is comfort to be found. That this connection we all share is the ultimate form of intimacy. Unconditional intimacy stemming from a place of complete Oneness. And that even if every being knows everything there is to know about every other being, on the highest level there is never any judgement, any criticism, any recrimination for the choices any one being may or may not have made. All is forgiven, even before forgiveness is needed. And so, the next time that you see your friend, tell her that all is well. That her mom loves her no matter what, and that regardless of what she has done and how she herself judges her own actions, there is never anything to be ashamed of, or to feel guilty about, or to chastise herself for. That all of it is simply a part of the journey of life.

Thanks. I will do that.

And may we just add that, while we initially had our doubts about how you would relay the details of this conversation to our readers, we are indeed amazed and very, very impressed at the way in which you were able to accurately describe it, despite how you yourself may have come off in this story.

Thanks. You’re too kind. In all seriousness, this is not the type of posting we usually have, so I do hope our readers have enjoyed it and were able to find something of value from it.

We are sure that they have enjoyed it and see the value in it as much as we have.

Thank you all.

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