WHERE WE DISCUSS EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS
Are you there?
Yes, we are here.
Since our conversation on the topic of frustration, I have been thinking a lot about emotional triggers. As I mentioned then, one of my triggers is political news. I can’t seem to read about politics without getting emotionally upset. I have tried avoiding it, but it is almost like an addiction. I know it will upset me, but I seek it out anyway.
Emotional triggers can be very addictive, despite how badly they make you feel. That is the ego at work. And once the ego has a taste, it cannot get enough.
And yet, it is that addictive element that finally made me realize what a trigger political news is for me. A year ago, I would not have made the connection. Yes, I could get riled up over a lawmaker’s abuse of power, but I didn’t see my emotional response as something that might not serve me. Or that those feelings could also attract thoughts and feelings of a similar vibration that could gain momentum and create an experience that I did not want. It is through the work that I have been doing with all of you that my awareness around these kind of triggers has increased. That increased awareness has helped me to adjust my thinking by saying, “Stop. Hang on a second. Do I really need to get this upset? Does that really serve me or anyone else?”
Would you care to share some of your emotional triggers with our readers?
OK. Well, some I have mentioned before, like modern technology, cyclists who don’t obey the traffic laws, people who take too long deciding which cucumbers to buy. Then they are some more serious triggers which I’ve also mentioned before, like political hypocrisy, which I find insidious. Lying politicians are especially popular right now, in large part because our country is so divided and many politicians have realized that in this kind of divisive environment, they can lie and get away with it.
What else? Now is your chance.
OK, well, being underappreciated and undervalued. Most people can relate to that. I don’t like it when it happens to me and I don’t like it when it happens to others. I have a lot of sympathy for those who are overworked, underpaid and don’t get the credit they deserve.
And what else?
Noise. Babies crying. Dogs barking. Sirens. Car horns. Loud music in my building. I’m particularly sensitive to noise and when it reaches a certain level, I start to get irritated and my body starts to vibrate in ways that are very unpleasant. Oh, and flies in my apartment. It drives me crazy when there is one fly buzzing around my head, especially when I’m trying to write. One fly, for days on end, that can’t seem to find its way out.
What else?
Racism. Nothing angers me more, especially when racists attempt to rationalize their racism or deny it or even project it on to others as a means of deflecting. Racism, homophobia, ageism, sexism, any sort of ignorance or insensitivity directed towards those in the minority makes me very, very angry.
Anything else?
There are always more triggers, like issues around money, for example, but I think that’s enough for now. I’m sure many of our readers can relate to at least one of these examples and probably have many more of their own. So, is it enough just to know what triggers you or is there something more than we can do to avoid flipping out whenever we encounter one of these triggering circumstances?
Sometimes it is enough to simply become more aware of your thoughts around situations, individuals and events that trigger low-frequency emotions like fear, anger, jealousy, paranoia and frustration. Your awareness is a very powerful tool and can often diffuse the power that an emotionally triggering thought exerts over your personal experience. But there is always more you can do. Start by reminding yourself that it is not the situation or the individual that is triggering your emotional response, but the thoughts that you are holding ABOUT those things. That is why no two humans respond in exactly the same way to the same situation. It is the thought, not the circumstance, that is the trigger. That is a very important distinction. And that is why increasing your awareness around your own thinking is crucial. For as your awareness grows, your perspective shifts, your understanding increases and you gain more control over your emotional responses.
OK. What else?
Label your triggers. When you feel yourself getting fired up, stop and actually say out loud to yourself “This is one of my emotional triggers.” You can even be more specific. “This is one of my money triggers.” “This is one of my political triggers.” “This is one of my partner triggers.” Label it and that will make it easier for you to stay present and maintain your perspective. It will also lessen your tendency to respond in the same way that you did five years ago, or twenty years ago, or when you were a child. To be clear, we are not suggesting that you should never experience low-frequency emotions like anger or fear. These feelings are a very important part of life on the physical plane. Without experiencing them, especially if you are repressing them, they cannot be released. Without experiencing them, you have no basis for the contrast between what you want to feel and what you do not want to feel. Without experiencing them, you cannot grow and expand, and that after all is why you are here. So, allow all your emotions to flow, but do not allow your triggering thoughts to gain momentum and take over your entire energy system. Keep everything in perspective. Stay calm if you can, release and let go. That is always the best route when it comes to dealing with your most intense emotional triggers.
Anything else?
Allow yourself to look for positive triggers. Not all of your emotional triggers need to stimulate low-frequency emotions. Look for things that trigger thoughts of happiness and joy and peace and love. That is where you should place your attention.
This has been very helpful, and cathartic as well. I think we will stop there for today.
Of course. Until next time.
Thank you all.
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